Bad Luck Banging I

Babardeala cu bucluc / Loony Porn is a movie meant to shock the viewer into understanding that there are far worse ethical lapses that we accept on a daily basis than the porn between married people and other NSFW material we generally consider below us. We discuss the movie in detail so a spoiler alert is necessary, and if you plan to watch it (you might as well), make sure you have the subtitles on for part II at least.

Screenshots from the movie Loonie Porn: 9:24 Lupul Alb Sarmizegetusa Regia + 14:12 Manca-mi-ati pizda + 15:42 Da-te-n pula meaVarianta în limba română pe FaṭăCarte Meta.

  • The movie follows the essay format, going as far as using subtitles as a story-telling device.
  • A chronological summary is necessary for fixating the sordid, decrepit views of Bucharest streets (and life) for further exploration.
  • The real story in Romania this is based on has echoes around the world

I haven’t yet finished watching Babardeala / Loony Porn (trailer) but I am very close to (done with the first ending). So far, it feels like a warning to those who left Romania and consider going back, that those things they disliked are still there, but stronger.

Of all the movies I’ve seen, this one gets closest to an essay or blog article format (but a long one, like mine, though not as long and well thought out as Krossfire’s). In my article in-validare II for instance, I start with a quick intro mentioning Chomsky, then define “valid”, to “validate” and then move on to compare Validation (2007) with Amatorul (2006), a RovaFilm production (rvf-ama), concluding with not three, but over 50 other documentaries.

Similarly, Radu Jude (whose Aferim! I’ve seen before) starts with the defining “porn production”, then presents Bucharest with a series of long shots, some captured above, has a glossary of terms in part II, and the trial travesty / inquisition / “polemic” in the third, with another 3 possible endings.

Those long “Bucharest walking” shots are scary for any Romanian (such as myself) who hasn’t been in Bucharest for a while. The traffic problem seems worse: more cars everywhere, especially on sidewalks. This city was not built for widespread car ownership (like all the other Romanian cities) and there’s nowhere to walk anymore – never mind bike lanes, which are also non-existent. It’s impossible to move around in the city. Cars are stuck in traffic, overflow on sidewalks and parks and green spaces, there are no designated parking spots and even pedestrians aren’t safe, let alone cyclists or those on scooters!

Apart from the noise and dust pollution of my youth, which had been created by the relentless pace of construction, there is now that due to manele which are played to attract shoppers.

LE: There aren't that many in the movie, they use instead some annoying "placeholder" music, but the reality my mind reconstructs is infused with m.

summary

I placed the first three interesting (for me, at least) screenshots above.

  1. 00:09:24 – White Wolf  / Sarmizegetusa Regia – May this be part of the reason for Alexic Danopathy? It looks like “Sector 3”-sanctioned graffiti and seeing it daily could push even the most fervent Burebista fan to the dark side.
  2. 00:14:12 – Out of nowhere, a random old lady in a public market jumps in front of the camera yelling what is translated as “eat my cunt!”. She seems to wait for a reaction from the filming crew and then disappears, satisfied.
  3. 00:15:42 – The main character squeezes the nose of a store mascot who replies with “fuck off!”

The entire first part seems to be a rehashing of the aforementioned Amatorul, in a more generous format. Romanians swear – it’s a national sport, older and more entrenched than oina. And it’s impossible to live in Romania and stay out of the mud; it draws you in like quicksand.

The movie is quite methodical in its observational quest and the scenes beg to be reviewed later, which is why a summary is in order.

  • 00:10 – visiting the boss
  • 00:18 – driver (R.V.) swearing from the sidewalk-parked SUV
  • 00:20:14 – zipper repair
  • 00:21:43 – arcade phone call
  • 00:25 – hummer parked
  • 00:25:40 – pharmacy, transplant, Xanax
  • 00:27:53 – decrepit facade, condemned building, no sidewalk
  • 00:29:00 – sailor wants to "blow her sail"
  • 00:30:00 – anticariat hysterical laugh
  • 00:31:27 – pedestrian ran over
  • 00:32 – cupola coppola

Part II starts at 00:36:00 and, one day, I hope to get to it too.

Before going further, we need to take stock of RL. Is this based on a true story? Of course it is.

reality

In the Romanian version, searching for “profesoara porno” turns up a number of links mostly to porn sites. On my blog, I get Radna, so it’s not something I wrote about (unlike Ana Birchall). Searching a bit more reveals the story of a Zalau teacher in 2008:

  1. In Hotnews, Dan Tapalaga accuses (hn-dantap) television (hn-cnatv) while pleading innocence.
  2. In Mediafax, an anonymous author names the teacher Daciana Ana, telling us that she returned to teaching after a 1-year sabbatical (mf-profaporno).

Whereas in Romania this must’ve been, back then, a significant event, teachers involved in sex acts are quite common events in the rest of the civilized world. Most of them are clearly wrong (zmb-50, cbs-not, or-28ont). But occasionally, we find cases that fall in a grey(er) area.

  • 2 BC teachers lost their licences in 2020 for at least 15 years for having sex with their students after graduation (cbc-2bc).
  • Resa Woodward, an “exemplary” teacher who worked in her youth as a porn actress with the stage name “Robyn Foster” was fired in 2017 b/c of her work with the Libertarian Party in Texas (dn-resa, nydn-resa).
  • On Quora, someone asks (2020 or 2021) why do teachers get fired for this and Daniel Kaplan answers that it’s in the contract (qu-whylgl)
  • In Italy, a Turin court convicted in 2021 a head teacher and a pupil’s mother over the 2018 dismissal of a nursery-school teacher who lost her job after a sex tape was published (an-trnprn)
  • Natalie Santagata was fired in 2011 when someone sent the school district private porn videos of her (also to parents, on Fb and Yt); for personal misconduct that "demonstrably impacted [her] effectiveness as a classroom teacher in our district." (mnt-sngt)
  • Gay teacher Brian Cody Bray was fired after someone stole a porn recording with him and posted it on the school website in 2016 (csm-bcb, ns-bcb)

Reality is stranger than fiction.

I first watched the movie without subtitles, but the second part (starting at 00:36:00) makes extensive use of subtitles to expand on the images shown.

We will continue to examine this movie soon.

Sources / More info: imdb-lp, wiki-blb, rvf-ama, zmb-50, cbs-not, hn-dantap, hn-cnatv, mf-profaporno, cbc-2bc, or-28ont, nydn-resaw, dn-resa, qu-whylgl, an-trnprn, mnt-sngt, csm-bcb, ns-bcb

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